Tag Archives: toddlers

Being Fired: Keeping Things in Perspective

I have never been fired- until yesterday.

Recently, I picked up a job as an independent contractor performing dispatch. It was really great. Our friend ran most of the business, I got to stay at home answer the phone, and put in orders. Super easy and since I’m a stay at home mom, no need for daycare. The work was just to make some extra spending money $50-100 a week. Still, to a mom who is very spend-thrifty it seemed to have endless possibilities.

I was shocked when I received a call from my friend’s son, he is very sweet, informing me that his dad was thinking of firing me. His dad was not in the car and didn’t realize his worried son even called. I laughed and told him he was being very kind to think of me, but not to be concerned about it. I quickly went through a list in my head of reasons why I would be fired. Perhaps the company was too small to consistently pay me, or maybe I wasn’t doing a very good job? (I was only trained in 30 minutes.) Surprisingly, when I called my friend, he said, “Yes,” they were going to let me go. But, not for reasons I would have thought. Some clients had complained about the children in the background.

Eowyn, Baby Dee, and Me

After being fired I found myself disheartened, but also bemused by the reasoning. Children have always been a way of life for me. My mother owns 51% of the successful company my parents share together. My mother has five- now grown- children.  When we were younger she was taking a million calls from people and running the business. She did it at home-with five kids (sometimes 6.) I didn’t really think of children as an annoyance or hindrance, but a way of life. She made business and kids somehow work. (Of course she would get frustrated on occasion.)

This being said, I do not blame the business or my friend for letting me go. I honestly understand why they would need someone more professional and available to catch every single call perfectly.

It would appear my children were a drawback in this ares. I do think, however, that children should not be looked as a hindrance to your dreams- financially, spiritually, or physically. It would be easy for me to get upset with my children, not just in this matter, but in others as well. Many parents know what it is like to be denied something or for plans not to work the way we wish because of our kids. I have found myself occasionally thinking about being a journalist, whisking myself away to Europe, or owning a beautiful house and being a little disgruntled with my children. Which is ridiculous! All these dreams and more are still possible whether I have kids or not. In fact, the greatest thing I will ever accomplish in my life is them. If you have had to delay plans or change them because of your kids I encourage you to not grow in bitterness. Children are a blessing of God and when you feel that way, confess it! My children are a blessing to me. I can even say my kids have opened more doors for me than they could possibly ever close. Sometimes I just need the reminder.

Happy Mothering!

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Save a Life: 3 Ways to Remember Your Baby In the Car

We all want our children to be safe. Safety is sadly often inspired by horror stories about why we do the things we do- cover light sockets, throw away plastic wrappers, no sharp corners. As a parent those stories keep you awake and your heart pounding through the morning news.  My motivation for sharing these particle important tips is to prevent devastation in other’s lives, not create fear. I do not want any person to experience a loss just because they were not informed.

“My people parish from a lack of knowledge.” Hosea 4:6

Most of us know to have our infant buckled, rear facing, and the car clean enough to where nothing can fall on them. Before driving off we mentally check off all the things we need to do or don’t want to forget. There is one thing, the most important thing that we must never forget. The baby. How could that possibly happen? All of us have heard stories of mothers forgetting their babies in the car as they run of to the groceries, work, or into their home. Some people scoff and wonder how anyone could be so idiotic. I don’t wonder. I know exactly how.

Eowyn asleep on a road trip

Eowyn asleep on a road trip

If you have a baby and are up all hours of the night you are often sleep deprived. You can barely keep it together. If you are a working parent you have so many things on your mind and the baby!

I didn’t have children when I was sleep deprived, but if I had it could have cost both of our lives. When I was a high schooler I was working over 20 hours a week and attending a private school (after being in public all my life.) The adjustment to the workload and evening job left me exhausted.  I was also going through a very emotionally exhausting time as well. (Which as a parent most people can relate being emotionally drained too.) I drove home at night on country roads. Out in the middle of nowhere was a dinky four-way stop light. I ran it, not just one night, but for several nights.  Some nights I pulled into the drive and could not for the life of me remember anything about how I got there. I’m so grateful and lucky that I never got hit or hurt someone else.

Routine can trap us as well. Let’s say you are driving to work but first need to drop of your kiddo at the day care or sitters, your child falls asleep and doesn’t make any noise. You may drive past the daycare and into work without even making the connection. When you think of it in these terms it is much easier to understand how this could happen.

Here are helpful suggestions to avoid this:

1. The best thing to do when going out (especially if you are going to work and need to drop them off first) is put your purse or lunch in the back seat next to your child. You will have to look back to get your things and will notice if your baby is still in the back seat!

2. Mirrors. Many companies now make mirrors that allow you to glance back and see your child.  This is ingenious as you can also see their expression. Just make sure to look at the road instead of getting wrapped up in how cute your baby is. This should be helpful since you will end up being in the habit of glancing into that mirror to see your baby. You can buy the car mirrors at a local Wal-Mart or Target.

3. Have an alarm on your cell phone go off around the time you drop them off in the morning. Have it read, Check your baby’s car seat or baby dropped off? A small thing, but it could make a huge difference.

Please feel free to add other suggestions and tips for remembering babies in the car. I encourage everyone to repost and share with others. It is summer and way too hot for any child to be forgotten inside a car.

Happy Mothering!

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Thoughts on the Pot

Are western babies behind the times? Back in the 1950s, 95% of US children were potty trained by 18 months, now it is a mere 4%. Recently I decided to potty train my 18-month daughter and find it interesting that by this older standard, she is actually late in training! It is even stranger that in the US we potty train by age 3, yet worldwide the average age is 2. Why is this? Are babies less capable than they used to be? I would say no. I believe there are a couple of reasons to the delay in toilet training.

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  • Babies used cloth diapers. Statistically children who use cloth potty train faster than when using disposable. I’m not exactly sure why this is, but my theory is that the baby watches you dump the fecal matter into the toilet and makes the connection- waste goes in the potty. Not only that, but they can feel the wetness in cloth while in disposables the gel absorbs so they don’t notice. I would also say a mother is much more driven to potty train if she has to wash all those nasty diapers.
  • Pampers had a “qualified speaker” insist that training children should be up to the child when they are “ready.” To push them would hurt their psyche. Having this said by the people who profit most by the continuance of a non-potty trained child is suspicious at best.  The the campaigns of using disposable until a child is ready- pushed a whole society from potty training until the child is at least 2.
  • Mothers train a child to use the bathroom considerably more than the father. Most mothers also work out of the home cutting into the potty training time. This isn’t necessarily a negative it is simply a fact. This creates a void though since a mother is now expected to work and balance potty training. A day care is not usually the ones to train so a mother is left with few hours to establish training. It becomes easier to wait until the child can be quickly and easily trained.

All this being said, I really can’t say that children should be pushed earlier or later to potty train. We live in a very different era than the 1950s. However, I do believe it isn’t an issue of capability, but perhaps lack of time and resources to train a child. It is has been one week of potty training and I have been putting Eowyn on the toilet frequently. She mostly walks around naked or in underwear during the day. Yes, she does pee on the floor a fair amount, but she also notices the wetness and isn’t fond of it. She has successfully peed in the toilet at least once every day. This to me is a huge success and though it may take time, I look forward to the day that I will only be changing my son’s diapers.

Some Facts

http://www.pottytrainingconcepts.com/A-History-of-Potty-Training.html

The link below-interesting story of mother’s who potty train super early. Not saying whistling works-but wow these children can be trained really early.

http://www.nhs.uk/news/2013/01January/Pages/Parents-can-potty-train-babies-by-whistling.aspx

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