Tag Archives: infants

Being Fired: Keeping Things in Perspective

I have never been fired- until yesterday.

Recently, I picked up a job as an independent contractor performing dispatch. It was really great. Our friend ran most of the business, I got to stay at home answer the phone, and put in orders. Super easy and since I’m a stay at home mom, no need for daycare. The work was just to make some extra spending money $50-100 a week. Still, to a mom who is very spend-thrifty it seemed to have endless possibilities.

I was shocked when I received a call from my friend’s son, he is very sweet, informing me that his dad was thinking of firing me. His dad was not in the car and didn’t realize his worried son even called. I laughed and told him he was being very kind to think of me, but not to be concerned about it. I quickly went through a list in my head of reasons why I would be fired. Perhaps the company was too small to consistently pay me, or maybe I wasn’t doing a very good job? (I was only trained in 30 minutes.) Surprisingly, when I called my friend, he said, “Yes,” they were going to let me go. But, not for reasons I would have thought. Some clients had complained about the children in the background.

Eowyn, Baby Dee, and Me

After being fired I found myself disheartened, but also bemused by the reasoning. Children have always been a way of life for me. My mother owns 51% of the successful company my parents share together. My mother has five- now grown- children.  When we were younger she was taking a million calls from people and running the business. She did it at home-with five kids (sometimes 6.) I didn’t really think of children as an annoyance or hindrance, but a way of life. She made business and kids somehow work. (Of course she would get frustrated on occasion.)

This being said, I do not blame the business or my friend for letting me go. I honestly understand why they would need someone more professional and available to catch every single call perfectly.

It would appear my children were a drawback in this ares. I do think, however, that children should not be looked as a hindrance to your dreams- financially, spiritually, or physically. It would be easy for me to get upset with my children, not just in this matter, but in others as well. Many parents know what it is like to be denied something or for plans not to work the way we wish because of our kids. I have found myself occasionally thinking about being a journalist, whisking myself away to Europe, or owning a beautiful house and being a little disgruntled with my children. Which is ridiculous! All these dreams and more are still possible whether I have kids or not. In fact, the greatest thing I will ever accomplish in my life is them. If you have had to delay plans or change them because of your kids I encourage you to not grow in bitterness. Children are a blessing of God and when you feel that way, confess it! My children are a blessing to me. I can even say my kids have opened more doors for me than they could possibly ever close. Sometimes I just need the reminder.

Happy Mothering!

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Save a Life: 3 Ways to Remember Your Baby In the Car

We all want our children to be safe. Safety is sadly often inspired by horror stories about why we do the things we do- cover light sockets, throw away plastic wrappers, no sharp corners. As a parent those stories keep you awake and your heart pounding through the morning news.  My motivation for sharing these particle important tips is to prevent devastation in other’s lives, not create fear. I do not want any person to experience a loss just because they were not informed.

“My people parish from a lack of knowledge.” Hosea 4:6

Most of us know to have our infant buckled, rear facing, and the car clean enough to where nothing can fall on them. Before driving off we mentally check off all the things we need to do or don’t want to forget. There is one thing, the most important thing that we must never forget. The baby. How could that possibly happen? All of us have heard stories of mothers forgetting their babies in the car as they run of to the groceries, work, or into their home. Some people scoff and wonder how anyone could be so idiotic. I don’t wonder. I know exactly how.

Eowyn asleep on a road trip

Eowyn asleep on a road trip

If you have a baby and are up all hours of the night you are often sleep deprived. You can barely keep it together. If you are a working parent you have so many things on your mind and the baby!

I didn’t have children when I was sleep deprived, but if I had it could have cost both of our lives. When I was a high schooler I was working over 20 hours a week and attending a private school (after being in public all my life.) The adjustment to the workload and evening job left me exhausted.  I was also going through a very emotionally exhausting time as well. (Which as a parent most people can relate being emotionally drained too.) I drove home at night on country roads. Out in the middle of nowhere was a dinky four-way stop light. I ran it, not just one night, but for several nights.  Some nights I pulled into the drive and could not for the life of me remember anything about how I got there. I’m so grateful and lucky that I never got hit or hurt someone else.

Routine can trap us as well. Let’s say you are driving to work but first need to drop of your kiddo at the day care or sitters, your child falls asleep and doesn’t make any noise. You may drive past the daycare and into work without even making the connection. When you think of it in these terms it is much easier to understand how this could happen.

Here are helpful suggestions to avoid this:

1. The best thing to do when going out (especially if you are going to work and need to drop them off first) is put your purse or lunch in the back seat next to your child. You will have to look back to get your things and will notice if your baby is still in the back seat!

2. Mirrors. Many companies now make mirrors that allow you to glance back and see your child.  This is ingenious as you can also see their expression. Just make sure to look at the road instead of getting wrapped up in how cute your baby is. This should be helpful since you will end up being in the habit of glancing into that mirror to see your baby. You can buy the car mirrors at a local Wal-Mart or Target.

3. Have an alarm on your cell phone go off around the time you drop them off in the morning. Have it read, Check your baby’s car seat or baby dropped off? A small thing, but it could make a huge difference.

Please feel free to add other suggestions and tips for remembering babies in the car. I encourage everyone to repost and share with others. It is summer and way too hot for any child to be forgotten inside a car.

Happy Mothering!

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Hesitate to Vaccinate?

In recent years the safety of vaccinations for young children has been repeatedly questioned. Can multiple shots, on such a young child- often a baby, create side effects perhaps worse than what is trying to be prevented?

Some parents do not vaccinate due to views on the health effects a vaccination may have on their child. There has been continuous suspicion of some vaccinations being linked to autism, and even SIDS, however, I cannot find reliable sources to agree or disagree with such statements. For a small group, vaccinations are against their religious views.

My four siblings and I weren’t vaccinated until we reached school, due to the urgings of a school nurse. My mother’s reason had primarily to do with faith and the counter argument from the nurse was, “Don’t you have to believe, in faith, for your children’s health whether they are vaccinated or not?” Which to me is a good point for that argument. I urge you, however,  to seek your own couscous on that matter. (You are free to refuse immunizations due to religious purposes, except in the states West Virginia and Mississippi.)

Personally, I fall into that first category. Does it negatively affect the health of my child? I have nothing against vaccinations in general, just an uneasiness on the timing in which we do them.

My daughter, Eowyn after her first set of shots.

Dr. Sears, almost the only Dr to speak on delaying immunizations, is not against vaccines but the lack of research that has been performed on infants for the side effects of the vaccines. Some of these vaccinations contain Mercury. A pregnant woman is advised to stay away from fish and other foods that may contain trace amounts of Mercury. Magically when the child is born, you can inject trace amounts of Mercury into the baby’s body, and it is considered safe?

In high amounts Mercury is a neurotoxin and can have adverse effects on our nervous system. What is a high amount for an infant? This study has not been performed and is the main reason I do not like the multiple vaccinations given so early to a child. (Not to mention the aluminum and animal tissue in some of the vaccinations as well!)

I must stress though that I am not an expert.

Every Child By Two, a group that believes strongly for early vaccinations states on their website, “Polio, for example, paralyzed millions of children worldwide before the vaccine was created. In the U.S. and the world, measles infects nearly 23 million people each year. In 2005, measles killed about 345,000 people (311,000 of which were children under the age of five).”*

A valid point, and though I may have my concerns on vaccinations and believe there could be massive improvements, I do not wish to do completely without them. With my first-born, Eowyn, I was so uneasy about the vaccinations that I waited until she was over 3 months to begin giving her vaccinations. I didn’t research the matter as much as I wished I had. For my son, I will be spreading them further part and asking my doctor for as many Mercury free options as possible. Starting with what I think to be very important, such as the preventative for the whooping cough. If you feel spacing out the vaccinations is what you should do, I would suggest Dr. Sears book, “The Vaccine Book: Making the Right Decision for Your Child.” He has perhaps one of the most unbiased view points on the matter.

I truly believe it is up to parents to research the matter for themselves. Weigh the risks, do the research. You are the parent and ultimately no one- not a Doctor, Preacher, or Family member can care more for yourself and your baby than you!

Happy Mothering!

Link for Dr. Sear’s Book on Vaccines:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0316180521/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0316180521&linkCode=as2&tag=askdcom0c-20

Sources:

http://www.mercuryanswers.org/health.htm

* http://www.vaccinateyourbaby.org/why/index.cfm

http://www.fda.gov/BiologicsBloodVaccines/SafetyAvailability/VaccineSafety/UCM096228

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Milk and Honey: The Promise Land of Breasts

As a new mom I remember being shocked at the new role my breasts had taken. No longer were my breasts just aesthetically pleasing or sexually appealing, they now nourished as well.  Its astounding that just as a woman has many roles in life-daughter, sister, wife, and mother; our breasts do as well!

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Breastfeeding Eowyn

Breast milk has unreal benefits for children and mothers, not just as babies, but later in life too. Babies immune systems are better, less likely to be obese, higher intelligence, and for a mother she is less likely to develop breast cancer. (It also helps shed those baby pounds!) These are just a few of the wonderful workings that breastfeeding does.

I will not, however, pretend that it isn’t messy, time-consuming and sometimes down right frustrating. When I began breastfeeding my daughter, for the first couple months, I had to use a nipple shield to get her to latch. It could be disheartening to find, clean, and correctly place that silicone nipple over mine every time there was a feeding, especially at night! Despite this, she gained weight and looked healthy so I knew she was getting enough milk.

Currently, I have chosen to tandem nurse, meaning to nurse more than one child at a time. Not that I nurse my eighteen month old daughter and one month old son simultaneously, but I do nurse them both daily; my daughter 1-3 times a day and my son every 2-3 hours.

The hardest time for breastfeeding is often during a growth spurt. When your child seems constantly hungry. I remember my daughter clawing at my breast and nursing to the point that I would cry from my nipples becoming so sore. It can be a lot of work during this time, but don’t worry the frequent feedings will make your milk supply level out to what they need.

Here are a couple of things I did to increase my supply through a growth spurt:

  • Frequent feedings. In the start of breastfeeding, both my daughter and son, I noticed the more I nursed in a day the more milk I would have. (Sometimes resulting in a wet t-shirt if I didn’t get one of them quick enough.)
  • Skin to skin. Take your babies clothes off, and press him or her to your belly while you nurse. For me this would always do the trick, it helps that milk flow easily and naturally. Even hugging my husband or taking a relaxing bath can make my milk let down.
  • Offering both breasts. Nurse that baby until they unlatch then try the other breast as well. This goes with the first suggestion but often times it can be forgotten. With my first I had one breast I nursed the most with so it became noticeably larger! To balance it out I had to start switching the sides more at night.
  • Visualization. Our minds are the strongest tools we have. When you imagine your child and your milk coming down, it often will! When I was in labor I visualized the waves of the ocean breaking and swelling; this helped with the pain. The same goes for women who struggle to conceive; it is helpful to imagine your ovaries blossoming!
  • Speaking over your body. Tell it to produce milk. Look at your breast in a mirror of when breastfeeding and say, “You are bountifully full of milk. Overflowing with promise. Nurturing my child to satisfaction!” if you need a verse stand on, look at Genesis 49:25 this blessing is yours:

The God of your father—may he help you!
And may The Strong God—may he give you his blessings,
Blessings tumbling out of the skies,
blessings bursting up from the Earth—
blessings of breasts and womb.

Happy Mothering!

The verse is supplied from the Message Bible and biblegateway:

http://www.biblegateway.com

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