Why I Don’t Call My Children’s Privates by Fake Names

I’ve laughed with other girls as we discussed the names we called our privates growing up: the tink, cookie jar, nucker, pee pee- the list goes on. Those areas of the body were shrouded with mystery when they were hesitantly discussed. My mother would answer questions and give us plenty of reading material. Still, I felt strange about these areas. If I had to discuss my own body I would have felt humiliated and very confused about how. Luckily, being a reader and being supplied with the correct books, I was able to identify that I had a urethra, vagina, and anus. Sadly, there are girls who become adults who are not aware what area does what: Do I urinate from my vagina? Where do I menstruate? Where do I have sex?

What God says about our bodies

The importance of calling privates by the proper name is instrumental to how a person will view their body and perhaps their own sexuality. It may sound silly, but not sillier than telling your child their arm is called a body noodle, or their face the expression platform. Calling things by their proper name isn’t just for the sake of being politically correct. It has much to do with knowledge being power. Knowledge gives a child confidence. For example- If they are lost they are taught to look for a woman with children, or a cop- you establish early that cops are mommy and daddy’s friends. This gives your child a safety net.

When your child’s arm hurts they are able to express that, “My arm is hurt.” This should be the same with their privates, “My penis hurts.” See how giving something the correct name gives them ownership? That is their penis. That is their vagina. (I typically call it the vulva since calling everything the vagina isn’t accurate either.) This ownership means they don’t have to be embarrassed or ashamed. Our gender is a huge part of our identity and not something to be embarrassed of. These parts aren’t “unspeakable.” They are a part of their body and as such if they are hurt or someone is making them uncomfortable, they are able to express that.

Telling your child about their body is a process. Many think, the talk is a one-time deal; it isn’t and shouldn’t be. As your child grows so should the discussions. The start should be the correct names for their body parts, or at least saying they are private. Eventually you tell them how their body is theirs; as such no one should be touching their privates. Also, if someone is making them uncomfortable they can talk to you no matter what!

I have known too many children, friends, and family members who have been hurt by predators to not take the safety of children seriously. I don’t teach my children out of fear, but as a preventive measure- not just against predators, but shame as well. I find it sad that too many people think talking about the body or sex to their children is vulgar. Someone is going to tell them and that information will most likely be incorrect and harmful. Most children have an idea of what sex is by the age of five whether you choose to talk or not. Take the initiative. Be the parent. How you discuss or don’t discuss something will dictate how a child will perceive that part of their life even as adults.

Happy Mothering!

The picture is from the store UnchainedBracelets on etsy.com You can actually buy this print! Click on the Link below.


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7 thoughts on “Why I Don’t Call My Children’s Privates by Fake Names

  1. Patty Thompson says:

    I think this was wonderfully put!

  2. This is great! I am a nurse and you would be surprised how often I have to give a mini anatomy class especially to pregnant women who do not know where the pee comes from.
    In turn I am about to attempt to teach my toddler boy how to use the potty. It’s easy to use silly names but I want starting now for my son to be comfortable with his body and understand that a penis is not something vulgar.

    • Thank you so much for your service. Nursing is a tough profession for which I am very thankful for. And what a wonderful thing to take out time to do to teach women about their bodies! I hope more parents will begin teaching their kids about it so they will find out when they are younger. I loved when my midwife took time to explain different things about my pregnancy and what all the technical words meant. And I totally agree, I have to catch myself and say the proper word at least once a day! It is so easy to use pee pee for some reason. haha. I’m glad you will be sharing information to your son about his body. 🙂

  3. Valerie says:

    I totally agree! While saying cutesie names, like “pee-pee” may seem like a good idea at the time (potty training?), it is likely to become weird to switch over as they get older, so it’s best to start using the proper names early on. For some reason I find it much easier to teach my sons to call their penises by their proper name than I did teaching my daughter vagina. I don’t have any idea why! I wasn’t raised hearing either one!

    • I totally understand, and that is an interesting point! It is easier for me to call my son’s privates the correct names verses my daughter. I just say vulva mostly since I haven’t had to reference anything to her vagina yet. And again, I can totally relate! Growing up my sister’s and I called our privates the nucker. Which unfortunately was later mentioned in a child’s television show where the characters went down a nucker hole. Not. kidding. lol

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