I would like to address some wonderful questions and statements that mothers receive. Starting with this one:
Gosh, it must be nice to be a stay at home mom and do nothing.
Yep, us stay at home-uneducated mothers just love to sit on our fat bottoms and eat Oreos all day. Well, that does sound pretty good to me but that just isn’t the case. I’m more likely to be cleaning Oreo off the floor or scrubbing a child’s dirty face then actually getting to eat the Oreos. And if I am eating the Oreos I’m normally hiding in the closet during nap time stuffing them in as fast as I can before they wake up. Instead of imaging all these glorious creative projects I am imaging the day my first-born will be potty trained. I imagine not having to wash diapers every other day. I know my dreams don’t seem big, but they are mine. The truth is, being a stay at home mom is hard, and lonely. We live in a society that believes all problems are due to how our mother raised us- too clingy, too distant, not caring, too caring. It can be frightening holding your fresh newborn and thinking gosh, I can screw this all up. And this job of motherhood is hard enough without having people thinking it isn’t a job. Which brings us to our next question.
So, you just stay at home with your kids, don’t you have bigger ambitions?”
To those people I would like them to look at the world, look at the hardness and the times we live in. Do you really think what we need as a society is more parents who call their children inconveniences? Yes, I have dreams for myself. And yes, it is so hard to clean poop off diapers to save money, but not for one second do I look at my children and feel regret or disdain. They are the biggest accomplishment I will ever have. And finally, my favorite question:
Don’t you want to reach your full-potential?
I say sure, I could go back to school, which someday I may, and study and start a successful career. Honestly, being a mother, I don’t reach my full-potential. I have to go beyond my potential, capability, and understanding. From the moment they are conceived, through labor, delivery and every breath they take from that point I have to be responsible for their body, spirit and soul. And it is impossible, there is only so much as a human being you can do, your full potential is just not near enough. So, as a mother, you have to pray. You have to pray for them for their safety, for their hearts, for the times in life that the world will turn its back on them and make them feel small and insignificant. If you say that would never happen I ask, have you? Have you ever felt small, or insignificant, or scared? If the answer is yes, then realize only God can be and is the only help that can be offered. And though you are a mother, you are not God. So yes I may never reach my full potential, but I sure will go beyond those fences and into uncharted territory that is messy, hazy, and ultimately the most beautiful and fulfilling work that can be imagined. And to the moms who do work as well as wear the messy, sticky badge of mother I say kudos and you are a hero. All that matters is that as mothers we do our jobs-love our kids, teach them to be decent human beings, and pray like our kids lives depend on it, because they do.